i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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