Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
