They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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