i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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