shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize