i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
