oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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