Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
