what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
third nipple confirmed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
