ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
