I cannot find my penis.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
operation have a gay friend backfired
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
