remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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