Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Alive.
So much puke
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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