need another drink. this is the easiest way
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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