Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
