By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
