yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
