i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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