you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
