i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
