i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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