He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
