So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
