and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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