tell your sister to shave her snatch
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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