they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am available for nakedness
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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