I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
and you fell through a lawn chair
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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