I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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