You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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