i don't like sucking hair
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
