are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize