His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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