He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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