she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
