one might say we're banned from that church
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
