I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
