So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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