Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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