all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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