Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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