To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
