Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
