I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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