SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
