I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
