Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
