So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
