id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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