i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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