just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize