No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
