my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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