why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
