8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
