my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
