Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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