Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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